Saturday, December 5, 2009

Confused











Ohhk
So here the first piece of Shit
The day Started of pretty fine had internals the one we gave was a disaster No issues at least file got complete
It was at night when the chemicals of my brain stirred briskly
Ohhk so here we go
See this girl tht I hv been having a crush on for more than months now I really do like her a lot but than when I talk to her I behave as a complete nutcase. I just don’t know wat the fuck happens to me when I talk to her yeah most of the time I think I behave ok but when it comes to talking I don’t have any sub to talk on and I pick the weirdest and worst one MYSELF. I bug her quite a lot I think. But the fact is I like talkin to her.
In my entire life there hasn’t been any gal I have had hard time to impress largely because I never tried to impress I guess but in this case I do so knowingly or unknowingly. But I fact is I mess things up in the process. Than today I decided to ask myself wat I really want and wat I shud be doing and there’s when the confusion began. I LIKE here a lot I don’t have any doubt about the fact. I care for aswell whenever she will need me for anything if it be possible for me I’ll never back down or runaway. Ofcourse I don’t expect her to ask me for Taj mahal as a gift. But thn I thought is this something tht I do only for her. Nooh! I m like this I do this for almost any of my frnd.
Than wats so special about her. Hmmm thought! Thought! I gave it quite a thought.. No Darn Answers I guess its cz she is so full of life and has got that elegant ladies charm in her may be this is why. May be talkin to her relaxes my overworked mental muscles. I Freakin hv no Idea Why I LOVE talkin to her.
And here’s where the problem begins. Do I love her ??
What the fuck this gives rise to another Damned Question ??
What the heck is LOVE ?






For an Aloof kindda guy like me Questions like this easiest to answer when concerned with someone else and hardest ones when I m myself associated.
So as usual I had discussion with a friend not telling him why I asked this I Asked him
“ Yaaar Ek baat bata How do u know u love someone ?? “
He said “Hmmmm”
        something tricky
        dekh suppose 'x' ko tu like karta hai
         'like'
ME:   yup
      thn
Friend:  toh if in case yadi tereko jab bhi tu ckhalimauka hota hai
        ya khushi ka mauka hota hai
        aur uski yuaad aa jae
        dats means ur missing her too much
         yadi koi uske baare mein ant shantbole
         toh treri sanak jae.....
         lekin tu kuch bole na
         dat means u respect her alot
         yadi kisi ne kuch usko bol diya...toh tera khoon khaul jae
         aisi hi bahut saari cheezon ka combintion milkar hota hai
        hamesha uski chinta ki abhi kya kr rahi hogi..theek toh hogi ya nahi
        etc etc
ME :hmmm
The  chat was mentally over here as I was looking for answers here
dekh suppose 'x' ko tu like karta hai
         'like'
Hmm Yup I think I do like her a lot She has got a composure and Self presence tht makes me forgot myself for sometime otherwise I m too concerned with myself. But thn when I talk to her I talk abt myself generally so she must be feeling tht I m so damn self indulged  L
Result -> I Do Like her a lot <3
toh if in case yadi tereko jab bhi tu ckhalimauka hota hai
        ya khushi ka mauka hota hai
        aur uski yuaad aa jae
        dats means ur missing her too much
Hmm another big problem in this God Damnd Life ( Though I love this world and life in my own way) we rarely have chances of real happiness and I hvnt experienced any in long tym so cant say if I’ll remember her in those tym of happiness. But yeah I do think about her atleast a few times in a day.
Result :- Still Confused if I miss her too muchK

         yadi koi uske baare mein ant shantbole
         toh treri sanak jae.....
         lekin tu kuch bole na
         dat means u respect her a lot
Hmmm Well this is quite true though I take things Objectively but I don’t see any fault in her so I don’t like to listen anything against her.
Result -> I do respect her a lot ( this is something I never confused anyway )

yadi kisi ne kuch usko bol diya...toh tera khoon khaul jae
Hmmm rather tough one Cause till date none has said anything to her but thn I m someone who never gets angry so if I’ll get angry if someone says something to her Hmmm May be I’ll get I can see myself getting angry but thn I m 100 % sure about it aswell as I don’t know if I can be angry as I hv never been angry
Result -> Confusion
  aisi hi bahut saari cheezon ka combintion milkar hota hai
        hamesha uski chinta ki abhi kya kr rahi hogi..theek toh hogi ya nahi
        etc etc
As a person wat happens around me rarely bothers me and I m like this I dunno why but thn I think if I’ll be
I’ll be too passionate a lover. So it’s a state of confusion tht I’ll think wat she’ll be doing right now blah blah  frankly as of now I don’t think so about her tht “ Abhi kya kar rahee hogi” one of the reason may be I don’t really have time to think about this Yeah but I do think abt her “ like she has got such a cool attitude ‘ she looked well tht day, I shudnt hv said this , ishud behave this way, Why do I think so much abt her” and so on but not “ Kaisee hogi , kya kar rahee hogi . etc etc”
Finally after thinking for so long I felt like I was banging my head on a wall with no result so I gave up afterall I m a complete nutcase but than I felt HOW CAN  KNOW IF SHE ‘s THE ONE FOR ME UNLESS I TRY
Another mess in my mind now How to do that should I do this and so
END CONLUSION
I DO LIKE HER A LOT
I CARE FOR HER
I RESPECT HER
BUT NO IDEA
IF 


I LOVE HER 




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16 comments:

Aditya said...

hehehe awesome maaan!!!
lagta hai , aur sessions lene padenge...btw do i know her??

Bhoomika said...

lol.. gr8.. \m/ finally read it.. i wudnt hav read it i guess unless u bugged me by mail.. cz i forgot :D.. sry .. but yea.. do tell us boud THIS GIRL .. hehe.. n all the best for ur confusions and conclusions !! :-bd

Monk Avant Garde said...

hmmm will tell ya all boud the gal when i'll feel its time to pull the curtain now :P
tab tak ke liye dekhte rahiye RANDOM CRAP :P

confusions and conclusions leads a man to wisdom
B-)

but i do hope they'll get cleared someday

-NainA- said...

awwwwwh mera baccha >:D< idiot :P mujhse baat kiya karo aise situations mein :O yeh kya poori ramayan likh di and end mein hawa mein hi latke hue ho :P rofl

I donno if I should really comment on this one here coz I know who the girl is :-? But yeah!! I'm so killing you with my advices on yahoo.. haha!!

Waise.. Grammar kab improve karne ke vichaar hai aapke :| When writing a blog, even if its more of a 'dammit I'm penning down all my frustruations here' or a 'diary entry', if you make it public, you should really polish it. Leaves a nice impression. :P This was just a comment about ur blog :| Idk why I'm even writing here =)) Ok ok tty on yahoo :P >:D<

Monk Avant Garde said...

yaar mein sochta to generally sahee grammar mein hoon
likhte samay galat kar deta hoon
carelessly likhta hoon thought aate jaate hai mein likhta jaata hoon

mediocre said...

it is a good blog as has been amply testified for by all the people preceding me.Enjoy writing it and of course write as you choose to write.

Nikhil... said...

hmm mai humesha se janta tha ki tu na samajh hai :P

Anonymous said...

a good piece on the mysterious magic of love :)

just a piece of observation...do spell the words in the traditional way....they feel better ...like have instead of hv or am instead of m etc etc :)

Monk Avant Garde said...

Hey Mini thanks a lot for the advice i'll definitely look after this in future.
and Love non decipherable unless you yourself fall in the pit.
keep visiting :D

Abhishek said...

the fone sucks, pls change it...hurting my eyes, couldn' read more than 2 paras.

anamika priyadarshini said...

boss!! ideas are really good!! analytical..the problems is if you don't use sms lingo..as fiddle-faddle said..indentation and a bit different format would increase number of ppl reading this...

i myself was going to move ahead..but the content held me...good work though dude...& i'm still thinking abt your LAN thing!!

Monk Avant Garde said...

Hmm Ani( hope you wouldn't mind this) thanks for the appreciation and yeah i'll definitely avoid sms lingo from now on and if u wish u can add me on yahoo. wil discuss the LAN thing

and As all said about the Font i have changed it

Unknown said...

D best of ur wrkss....n it was nice reading wid dose thoughts n nusery grammar errors n lingos..apart it was really intresting;);)....
uhun

good wrk manky:)

Ashok Bhadoria said...

Hey,,,very nicee && very touching !!!
really i lyk it !!!!!


Thanks for sharing wid us !!!!!!

Unknown said...

LOL......
its really confusing........

Akash said...

;o You like a girl but never told me before x(

I bet she must be a nice girl very opposite of you :P
Don't mind broda ;)

I hope i will be able to see my bhabhi soon :P