Friday, January 29, 2010

The Ugly Happiness !~

A few days ago, I was coming back from my tuitions. The city, though small, is quite fast. 2-wheelers, 3-wheelers and the ever increasing, luxurious 4-wheelers, all were moving as fast as they possibly could (taken into consideration the mish mashed traffic on Indian roads) and through all the possible places they could possibly fit in. I had no idea what all this rush was for. The scene could very well be described as an amalgamation of anarchy and technological advancements.

I was making my way through this unorganized mess at peaceful pace. Red back lights, Flashy headlights, Buzzing Horns, crossing civilians on a normal day you tend to ignore these entire things but on somewhat peculiar days like this particular one, you inadvertently shift your focus on the finest of these details. On my way back to home when, I was keenly observing all these intricacies, I bumped into an Old man. Instantly, I jumped back when I noticed it. He was wearing a Greasy Kurta torn at places. He had an untidy, long, grey beard and ruffled grey hair. He stood there spreading both his hands wildly as if he was about to give someone a hug of a life time. There was a beaming smile on his face and it reflected in his eyes which sparkled in exuberance and delight (though it was hard to comprehend what possibly could be the reason for it). He obviously was a poor fellow living a life of misery (his cloths made his condition self-descriptive) yet he seemed to be having time of his life. This sincerely puzzled me.
All of a sudden he started moving in circular motion still spreading his wings (At least he thought so) and the beaming smile on his face seemed to be plastered. Every now and then he said something in a strange language that probably only he could understand. That’s when I actually realized that this senile man had lost his senses. But as has been my habit, I began contemplating the thing MADNESS, and what exactly did happiness mean? The senile dude looked really happy...
We all live a life fighting against things, small and big, to make our existence as convenient one. But, the toughest fight we have is with our Thoughts, our conscience. We set for ourselves rules and regulations. Limits and so called standards. We define a term called success and a term called failure, where the two are so strongly interlinked that it is not possible to differentiate between them easily. This is what we will consider success and it will be a failure if something goes wrong. Human beings as a species, have a knack of defining everything that comes their way (something should better be left undefined as it depends on the pursuer how he explores it). And in the process of defining things we stop taking life as it comes. Instead we waste our time reflecting on past and speculating about the future.  And whenever we find something adverse with our definitions we are disappointed. As we always chase an illusionary happiness defined by our limits and standards we suppress the urge for momentary happiness. When our body continuously lives in the present, the mind either dwells in the past or the future. 
That man probably lived his sane life suppressing the momentary happiness that life threw his way. He probably kept worrying about the future and grieving about the past. He may have hoped for a successful love life or a prosperous professional life (in short a successful life defined by certain standards) but things might have gone otherwise. Since he never lived in the present and when this illusionary success crashed on the floor of reality, his life all of a sudden lost all its meaning. Baffled by the reality and unable to accept the failure, he lost his sense of future and past and all that remained was a present. And the deeply suppressed momentary happiness now exploded from him like air from a fully blown balloon. 
Now you may say, Is this what happiness means? Is this what living in the present means? Well NO! Living in present doesn’t mean forgetting the past and neglecting the future. Your past acts as a guide for your future endeavors. In short it’s your existence. Where as your future gives direction to your present, it tells you where you are heading. But at the end of the day, things have to be done in the present with guidance from past and the outcome will be reflected in future. 
The man that we are talking about has lost both his existence and the direction to live further so, though he may look happy on the outset, he has no idea what price has he paid for this UGLY HAPPINESS     

Mayank Rajput
Vote for me now! Blogomania 2010 sponsored by Odyssey360 | The 24 hour online book store with 5 milion books to choose from.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Another Chance !!~

I was having a really busy schedule for more than a few months now. My body was growing weaker by every passing day. It was an evening I came back home and went for an evening shower all of a sudden each and every muscle of my body slacked. I fell down on the marble floor. Icy floor was burning my skin but all efforts to retaliate this cold pain went in vain. My eye brows were flapping wildly. Being unable to move a muscle I lay there on the steel cold floor watching still frames after still frames with my struggling eyes. Everything was getting blurred with every passing moment. Soon they were closed and it was all dark.
After a while the darkness began to fade and misty white fog began replacing it bit by bit. My entire life was flashing back in front of my eyes it felt like I was reliving every moment but I couldn't change any of it, watching it all happening in front of me,  I was standing there helpless. This is when you realize the Power of death and how helpless we are when compared to it. It was like an aeon hanging between Life and death, heaven and hell, good and evil. And as I was helpless watching every moment of my life played again in front of my eyes. That's when I realized how much wrong I have done in my life. What fake saintly impression I had about myself just because I didn’t drink, smoke or do adultery.

The mother who cared for me more than anything else who looked after me without ever asking for anything, who was there for me on every single step that I take. But being a heedless son I never even bothered to express my gratitude and love to her instead when ever there was more salt in food or no sugar in milk I teased her as if she had committed a blunder. The dad who took pains to raise me up inch by inch, the one who worked hard every single moment to give me as lavish upbringing as he could? I cursed him for never looking after me for never having time for me. The Brother, who kept all my untold secrets and always stood by me whenever I needed him, I never let go, any opportunity to humiliate him.

The mist began to grow denser and denser now. It was getting darker and suffocating I could sense my self loosing the last of the strings. Just one last chance. To make it all right. It’s rightly said " When things are in abundance we don’t value them its when they rare that we realize their true value and meaning”. I know I am dying and can’t repay all wrong that I have done. But those of you who are still living why are you killing every moment??

My senses must be playing games with me. But the dark mist was shaken by these vibrations.
“Josh! Wake up Son! For God's sake wake up"
Where am I? In Hell??Or I have got another chance a second chance??
 No, it can't be hell! My mom would definitely not be there.
That’s when I saw my mom's face tears were rolling down from her eyes. Earlier they were tears of grief and now tears of relief. My dad and brother stood there staring at me flabbergasted by the eventual happenings.

Just than, after ages I burst out into tears.  I hugged my mom as if it was the last time that I might be able to do it and we both cried. I don’t remember how long I cried. 

But being a Lucky Idiot That I am.
I have got another chance.
Thank You God.

20 Jan 2010

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Way of Brothers

Well today when i went upstairs, Dad was there Bullying my younger brother. Cant tell you what satisfaction the heart of a brother gets When you see your brother getting bullied by parents( Believe me it cant be compared with anything else it just one of a kind feeling ). And When you are the one to Whom your brother is being compared and is getting his leg pulled. Its an amazingly profound feeling. You kind of cherish that still frame in which your Brother is Gazing at u in utter disgust ( " I'll get back to you Grrrr Wait for my turn !! You bastard ).
This is when the world begin to think that these two brothers are made to hate each other. as for them you dont leave any single opportunity to show the other one down. But truth is completely invert of this situation. The brother you show that you hate Most in the world is always the one You can blindly trust. He is the one who knows your secrets more than anyone else. and to amazement unlike a sister who everyone find comforting and easy to share secrets . The brother is whole together a different species. You dont look in his eyes ( neither do he ) but you  know everything( so do he). It dont even happen through eyes it happens instinctively.
He knows when you are talking to you girlfriend. How many girls are you seeing. How money you are spending. he knows everything believe me ( unless he thinks its not all important ). and so are you . you know everything ( Or you have so much trust on him that you dont care boud that ).
In simple words this Blog is About how complex is a relationship between brothers They are always behind your neck and they are also the one who are first to save your neck.
i guess this is too much shit over a silly matter.
lets save some for later .

Monday, January 11, 2010

The Life thing !

Well to  begin with, i will like to make it clear this not a book review instead its my learnings from the book.
every day we wake up do our daily chores go to college or office or wherever , have some fun with friends on silly topics. Sometimes we feel angry  sometimes we feel sad at other times really happy. But just to be normal in this civilized society we live our life according to certain codes.
we like going out and shouting at the top of our vice but we don't do that as people will consider us mad . We don't go out and let the first drops of rain touch our face as it may look childish and we are grown up. We live our entire life building wall's around ourselves walls that help us stay away from the risks and pains of this materialistic world. and in the process we tune ourselves like machines performing same operation day after day.
And as the time passes this builds an anxiety in our soul. it stats looking for something new And this is the Phase that decides our Life

  • People either succumb to circumstances and accept the monotonous life
  • They decide to switch to temporary pleasure and leads there life to unforeseen miseries 
  • The third kind of people takes a Bold step ahead and look into themselve and find out what they really want and starts a productive and adventerous life that they always wanted to live 
However A very large majority opts the first option and big enough fraction ( which is increasing everyday ) opts for the second option and only a few manage to go with the third one . And they are the people who achieve true sense of being and Real Happiness

Paulo coelho Through his works Always make us think an extra mile about Life and the way we take it and i always find something that was deep inside me resurface after reading his works
I hope You all will also find true meaning of your life

Life is about living and not existing
Happy Life