WheN I DeCidEd tO DiE

Everything in my life was so beautiful
I used to enjoy the time I spend with my friends
I used to enjoy everything that happened in my surrounding
The flowing wind, flapping leaves of trees
Chirruping of birds, scolding of parents
The world used to be so beautiful
I can’t describe in words
But than something went terribly wrong
And the worst part is I don’t know what it was
AND I LOST MYSELF

Everything in this world seemed like business
Even temples that used to provide me peace of mind felt like hotels now
I became so callous that I
Forgot laughing on jokes
Forgot mourning on deaths
My body was there but soul seemed petrified
My material existence was there
But can’t say same about my spiritual being

Everything in this world which was so dynamic
All of a sudden was immobile and static
Their was absolutely no meaning in anything
What’s life, what’s death?
What’s heaven what’s hell?
To me everything was a black hole, sucking everything inside
My hope, my zeal, my emotions
MY SOUL
MYSELF

I tried to look for a solution to get out of this misery
But all efforts were in vain due to hopelessness
I was so damn stoic
Nothing made me happy
Nothing made me sad
I neither felt good nor bad

When the world to me was a deserted place
There was extreme transparency and meanings were lost
When nothing was truth and the only TRUTH was LIE
I DECIDED THAT NOW I MUST DIE