May, I Find My Light

There is Glitz and glamour,

 there’s light, it’s bright

This is the coolest place, so they say

Where the bright minds unite

I am here, very much, an integral part

But I don’t belong here, I think

I get a good feeling at times,

But it never lasts

Everything is on surface, a Mirage, 

What seems is not

There is no water but sand

It is hollow and cold as ice

I, who has always dwelt among the dreamers,

Is facing brash reality of life

Where what’s close is important

What’s beyond is futile

Moulded as I am,

 I may not be able to change

To them they are right

To me I am completely sane

It’s the world that differ

And it always will

May, they find their path

May, I find my light.

Who is Monk? Part II

Link to First Part

3 hours passed, Madhav kept on shuffling files on his desk from one place to another, his mind was still occupied by the strange phone call. The Voice was so familiar still he couldn’t get who she was. The way she talked, he definitely knew her.

Tick! Tick! The wall clock was now showing 12:00, which meant it was lunch time.

“Madhav! Bro today is your treat” it was Shamit, one of those people in the office with whom Madhav could have some heavy philosophical conversations.

“Sure man lets go!” said Madhav, who was looking for an opportunity to get the thoughts of that phone call out of his mind.

They moved through a corridor surrounded by glass panes through which one could easily see a row of cubicles and here and there a group of 5-6 people having a laugh over a meal. Finally they reached a round table in the office canteen. Since the time Madhav and Shamit became friends they had been having their meals at that same table.

“Here have a look at it, I have got something for you, took me quite a while looking for it” said Shamit stretching his arm forward with a wrapped gift In it. Madhav took it and looked at it for a while trying to guess what was in it.

“Don’t hesitate open it, it’s all yours bro” chuckled Shamit.

Madhav gently tore the wrapping apart and saw some leather. “I remember you once told me that you have always wanted one of those diaries as in Harry potter: chamber of secrets, one with a leather cover and a thread around it to tie it up once you are done writing. Man it’s such a rarity I had to look into 3 different shops each of them miles away from the previous one. Finally got it, so how did you like it ?”

“It’s Awesome. I love it” Said Madhav and he really meant it, just that he couldn’t feel it, As always.

He Flipped through the pages, reached the last page and saw a sticker there “Monk Albert’.

“What is this Monk Albert sticker here? “ asked Madhav bewildered.

“Ahh it’s some tagging system they have in that shop. When anyone buys a diary he has to leave his pen name as a tag for someone else. But don’t worry I checked it it’s a removable sticker if you don’t like it. Any issue here?” Asked Shamit

“ No its absolutely fine” said Madhav who was not really there any more, the answer was just a reflex.

-------

“ Wow that’s an awesome story bro!” said Ravi after reading a post on Madhav’s blog.

“ Thanks bro, well you know writing is my only passion in life. So it comes naturally” said Madhav with a faint smile.

“ ohh this is interesting ‘ –Naina—writes.. As always it’s a delight reading your posts. You write beautifully and straight from the heart. The emotions come out really well in your stories. It’s as if you are strongly feeling them when you are writing. All the best keep writing’
Bravo! Who is sh,e ass? you never told me. She seems to be completely flat on you”

“ Ohh wait what is this here ‘ –Monk Albert—writes.. Ohh that’s too generous of you J its just I love writing and hope to take it up as a career. When I write I get lost in it, totally. So maybe you are right, I feel it. In fact it’s probably the only way I can feel things Hope to see you again thanks for the comment.’ Great going Player ask her id and number too” said Ravi winking.

“ Dude she is only a follower of my blog , nothing’s on between us. And I have her id” said Madhav with a hint of smile barely visible.

“ Absolutely Mr. writer who am I to say anything?” said ravi “ just inform me when we have to celebrate” he chuckled finally and ran off the hostel room before Madhav could catch him.

--------------

This was 6 years ago when Madhav was in final year of his engineering. Monk Albert used to be his pen name.

“ Hey Snap out!” said Shamit looking at Madhav who was lost in thought.

“Ohh yeah so where were we, Sorry I just got lost in thought”

“Yeah that’s a great way to treat a friend who got you a much yearned thing” said Shamit in good humor.

“I am really sorry about it “

“Ahh it’s fine bro. I was just kidding. So what was it that has been bothering you” asked Shamit cassualy.

“Naah Nothing!” Said Madhav baffled beyond imagination. ‘What the hell has been going on today?’

Hiatus

Mornin’ fellas

This blog is on hiatus till 2011 which by the way means that the author is on a long break. No, not relaxing. It’s just because FMS people are killing him with excessive workload and measly hours of sleep. If you know the author you would realize that he likes to sleep like a pig. Before I blabber on and he kicks me out of the admin-status I’ll sign out.

Do wait for the next post by him. It’s gonna blow you off your feet. That freakin’ good he is.

So long.

The Theory of Dipshits

The Theory of Dipshits

In recent years the world has a seen a resurgence in the way we view and value people. I clearly remember some five years ago if you would have called someone a ‘Dog’ he would have literally bitten your head off. But now calling someone a ‘Dog’ is akin to giving him tremendous respect. Is this what Lord Ram meant by Kalyug? May be or may be not. But one thing is for sure the idea of good and bad, cool and the not so cool have drastically changed. Off the variants of the newly phrased social classes The Dipshits are the most prominent. You can generally spot them in form of various wannabes.

To understand this theory we will have to begin from the basics. The origination of these classes can be traced back to the infamous and out casted Dumbasses. Now these were a really unfortunate bunch, they neither had brain to learn, the quotient for coolness and worst they didn’t have the zeal to attain any of these. They lived in the masses without any from of acknowledgement. This species is still prevalent but as always unacknowledged.

However there is one more and a severe form of Dumbasses and they are the ones called Dipshits. Dipshits are an extreme variant, they are the dumbasses with the delusion of being an asshole (An Asshole is an iconic class with very high aptitude for spontaneous coolness, they are a higher degree of jackass, but due to eccentric nature may go wild sometimes). The general quality of a Dipshit is they are annoying, irritating and sticking bunch of losers. Self praising and attention seeking is a very common trait. In short when you feel a certain person is a pain in the arse you can quite positively assume that he/she is a dipshit.

There are three basic laws for DIPSHITs in the contemporary world:

1.      1. A Person is either a Dipshit by birth or becomes one through his experiences

      2. The Number of Dipshits in this world are continuously increasing

     3. Third and perhaps a very crucial one is “ The Dipshitness of a person is directly proportional to the amount  of time he or she spends with a Dipshit and is indirectly proportional to the level of his Assholeness”

i)        CASE I ( When the time is a measurable entity): In case the time spend by a person with a DIPSHIT is measurable the following formula can be used to calculate the dipshitness)

P_D = t.C_D/P_A

P_D = The Dipshitness of the person to be calculated

T = Time spend by the person with a DIPSHIT

C_D =Dipshitness of the person in contact

P_A =Constant of Assholeness of the person under observation.

ii)      CASE II ( When the 2 person spend immeasurable amount of time together): in this we need to apply integration with time as limit varying between ‘0’ to ‘∞’

 P_{D = o}∫^∞ t.C_D/P_A

Here the constants reflect the same thing as in the above equation.

Using these laws of DIPSHITNESS you can easily measure the DIPSHITness of a person, an organization and by using genetic algorithms even entire countries can be measured for their DIPSHITNESS.

Coincidences In my life : Past three years

For long I have been planning to write something but it kept on getting delayed. Travels, extensive reading and over extensive thinking took up a lot of time in the past few days as I stand on the cusp of a very important phase in my life. However, in the past few days a lot of things happened which influenced or should I say refined my thinking to a great extent. I finished reading atlas shrugged( An Ayn Rands classic) picked up The Snowball ( Warren Buffet’s biography ) to put it down and than picked up The Celestine’s prophecy ( which completely blew my mind).

Of a lot of things the book talks about I would like to discuss the Part about co-incidences. Often it happens in life that we get a feeling about things whether we should do them or not.  A feeling like ‘I should visit Nilay today’ and we discard them citing Unimportant, vague or whim. But than sometime it happens that we do things without any logic or a foreseen cause but that thing turn out to be very influential later on. The book says that the coincidences are conjured by human mind through its desires, feelings, emotions and will.  Since Einstein proved E = mc² in his theory of relativity, there has been universal agreement that matter can also be converted into energy or it is in other words Energy. Which means this entire universe is a mesh of energy at varying degree of vibrations (Entropy). When we are focused and enthused by something we are at a higher energy level and the change in our energy level influence the energy in the world.

And when we effect the energy of the world with the variation in our own energy we seemingly start writing our own destiny. Coincidences are effect of these energy changes you concentrate your energy on a particular item knowingly or unknowingly and you attract things and people working on the same line of thoughts as their energy shares an affinity with yours. How often in your life have you met the right person just when you needed him? (And you knew you needed him though uncertain of form).  From here on I will give you examples from my life.

This is the account of past 3 years of my life…

I was in second year of college had finished more subjects of my branch than most other guys in my college perhaps city  and realized that I needed something new in life something more than the technological rants. I meet a guy(now a v good friend of mine), Aditya and he told me they were planning a newsletter project in college and were looking for like minded people he said that I was good and he could get me into team if I was interested. Well Of course I was interested I mean that is exactly what I was looking for a new avenue.  In a few days at my JAVA Classes(another form of technological rant) I got a call ‘   Hi Mayank this is Abhishek I think you had a chat with adi about newsletter and we are meeting this Sunday at CCD hope to see you there’ ( not the exact words).

This is how my journey with a newsletter began I started off as a columnist and wrote on Astrophysics ( yeah you heard it right, I mean what else do you expect of a famed nerd?). For the sake of team I was asked to get internet connection as we could not meet regularly but had to work regularly.( I wonder if it had not been for Ojas(Newsletter’s name)  I might not have got internet connection that early. I was working as a columnist when the team felt the need for web presence and I was given the responsibility, now I didn’t know much about web development, I still I don’t, but as always I knew the right people. And I got my best friend in team ( he is now getting paid for developing sites for others) who also didn’t have a clue about web development but is a god of computer science.  

Meanwhile on internet I made a lot of friends special saki dee ( my first ever online-friend but she taught me a lot of things and guess what she too was a software engineer, I got to know the positive side of the life of a s/w engineer through her)  Sunaina ( so far the most influential person in my life, more on her later), Prachi ( my friend who is a girl but not girlfriend or mentor or something that classify beyond friendship , my first close friend who is a girl) it was interacting with her that I actually opened up to girls( without making them sisters).  And a lot of other people Rohit( another techi with the spirit of an entrepreneur) , Adarsh, Shriram ( his brother was my batch mate for IIT Delhi interview), Nikhil ( a potential bestselling author of the future) and many other each of them influential in their own way. I also made some very unique real life friends Nilay( who hooked me into reading mangas and watching animes as I was done with playing Games and didn’t have much else to do, Met Goldie with whom along with Nilay I tired my hands at stock trading( it was a good learning experience)  other than that I met Divyadeep a sheer genius, Anmol an investment banker in the disguise of a software engineer, DJ born with a silver-spoon but showed us what are the troubles of being born with a silver spoon.  All in all I had a rich diversity of friends.

It was one issue into the magazine and I was still doing what can be said technical jobs writing technical articles and other form of procedural jobs. This seemingly get me frustrated because practically my life was perfect I was the part of the 2 most exclusive club in the college IT Club and Ojas. Was among the most popular figures in my batch, almost all the teachers knew me. But here I was empty wondering what was wrong with my life and for the first time I discussed my life with someone( read Sunaina) and this was a turning point. She asked me my date of birth (Silly eh!) I said 10^th feb, Oh! So you are an Aquarious! No wonder you feel that way. I was like Ahh? And she shared a Linda Goodman Aquarious personality profile with me. Now it doesn’t matter how authentic the personality profiles are and how credible sun signs are. What I know is that reading that personality profile sorted out a lot of inner struggles for me. I got to know why I was emotional detached, why I always craved for mental freedom, why my interests kept on changing and many things. On top of this she suggested I should write!

Since than I have been writing in fact writing is the only medium that sets me free in the newsletter team as well I shifted from technical writing to creative writing and got my zeal back and as a result unleashed my creative spirit. Soon I became a key player in the team. And I began dreaming of becoming a writer. I went on to become the content manager and than editor in chief of college newsletter(probably my biggest intended achievement). Than I met some new people Sampad a writer from Bhubaneswar ( a guy with dreams) , got to know about Nikhil’s writing skills,  Hiral My dear sister and phenomenal writer, a group of guys from Bhubaneswar all excellent photographer, an artist from Mumbai, Srishti a fashion designer( another software engineer) from Delhi, Mohit (IITian to say but a writer at heart). And I realized there are much bigger  things that can be done for this country is full of amazing people who if can be taken together under one room might create an organization well beyond the expectations of anyone in the world. And that’s when I decided I want to start my own publishing house. And with the help of handpicked awesome people  I will publish such quality stuff that people treasure it for their life. I will introduce mangas to Indian society for they are such powerful medium of entertainment that they can positively influence the life of millions of Indian kids.

While preparing for MBA I met another interesting bunch of people Aakash ( a guy from Hindi medium background and has a better English grammar than anyone I know), Vikram a rebel in true sorts one who walks his own path without any regards to the world, Gautam a guy with a big heart and even bigger vision. I joined PagalGuy.com and made a friend Satwinder another great writer fellow manga afisionado and a FMS call getter;) these people influenced my life in ways I cannot explain as yet.

Now from here on its about past 2 months, I was wondering whether to take up job after MBA or directly start my Entrepreneurial venture and got to know FMS has announced Placement holiday. I had applied for an international writers action team but didn’t remember that I had and got a mail that I was selected just when I was looking for some good CV points on top that the guy who is leading our team is a Graphic artist and another Manga fan. Moreover the head of the Indian chapter of the challenge future the international competition we are talking about is an MBA who plans to turn entrepreneur soon and start his own e-Magazine! Recently the placement got over at FMS and for the first time TIMEs group india’s biggest media conglomerate offered a general management profile. Moreover Abhishek my friend from the newsletter team has got Call from MDI and who knows we may work together on a bigger thing now ;) And yeah I finished reading The Celestine’s Prophecy!

I am leaving tomorrow for my interview lets see what coincidences awaits me!

Mayank Rajput

13 March 2011

To be Alive

I don’t have an idea about what it is that I want to write right now. The only thing I know is that I want to write.  It has been quite sometime now that I have been having this feeling of uneasiness. I have been pondering over it but so far it has been inconclusive. Probably I didn’t know the source of uneasiness. But rights now I feel very light as if have gained some secret knowledge. I feel Enlightened.

 

As person I have always believed that I am an effective communicator. But very recently I found out that when I feel that I must be very effective now, at this very moment. My affectivity falls down. I lose my spontaneity. I lose my mysticism. I lose the essential elements of my personality. So I thought a lot about what I should do. And in the process of doing so I guess I found more than what I set out to find.

Am I alive? For that matter what does living actually means? I think it means getting better and being aware of it. If at the end of the day you sleep wit a feeling of having achieved something, of having done something worth while. You are living. How do we know that we have accomplished something? In other words how do we know that we are living? First thing you need to answer yourself is what is your purpose in life? What do you want to gain? What path have you chosen? Having answered all these question just answer one more question and you will know if you have accomplished something or not. How many steps on that path did you traveled today?

Our existence is our state of mind.  It’s the consciousness of knowing a purpose and moving forward to fulfill it. Most of the time we don’t know what it is that we want to do. And this is true with a huge majority of people who think they know what they want to do? Do you feel alive doing the work that you think is what you want to do in your life? When you are working is your work the only thing that matters to you in those moments? How painful is the thought of not being allowed to do what you believe that you love to do?

Wondering why there are more question marks than full stops in this article? <-(Here it is one more) well because the answer for every one of us is different. Its like I am out to reach for mountains, their coldness, the mist of the early morning, the echo of falling water at a distant waterfall, the moistness of a heavy and chilled breeze bring to life everything it touch, the serenity and the silence. On the other hand your destination might the salty winds having its origin at the middle of an ocean, the fine crystals of sand at the sea shore preserving every step you take, the tides of time erasing the steps you took like bruises of past, the fire of sun meeting the water of ocean at a distant horizon, the depth and the sobriety. As our destination differs our purpose in life differs and so the path we take for it differs but what remains same is the essence of life. Moving forward, advancing, striding towards the destination.

Journey is more important than the destination! Well it is but when you know the right path and you are conscious of your decision. Every step you take towards the journey its by savoring the beauty of the path you have taken. You enjoy the journey because you know its right and in your consciousness and surety of the path you have taken is the art of living. 

Who Is Monk ?

"Get ready, He is in the elevator."
"He might be here anytime now.."
-Gate opens-
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to dear sir, happy birthday to you!"

“Ohh that’s so sweet of you all. Thanks for giving such a memorable start to my day." A forced smile appeared on his lips. “Now get back to work!” Madhav waved his hands at his subordinates and moved towards the glass walls of his office. It was 9th Feb. 2013, Madhav’s 27th birthday. It had been 4 years since he joined the organization. Owing to his prowess as a professional, he soon reached the position of a regional manager.

"Why do people celebrate birthdays? I mean, why don’t I feel anything special when its my birthday today? Everyone seems to be happy. Happy because its my birthday? Why should they be happy about it when I am not? Ahhh forget it! There is a lot of work to do.."
He pushed the glass door open and walked to his chair while admiring the huge painting behind it. Pressing the bell for the operator's desk, he settled into his official chair.
“You called for me?” said a mellow voice. It was Neha, she had been his secretary for 2 years since he was first positioned as a regional manager.
“Yeah, where is Choitram Hospital's project file? We have to finalize the design today.”
“The project has been put on hold by the headquarter due to some issues with the Choitram organization.
“Ohhh that was sudden. Hmmm anyways, what are the other things that need to be done today?”
“Madhav, take it easy sometimes in life. By the way, yeah! I forgot to wish you, Happy Birthday.”
“Haha! That wish sounded a bit sarcastic. Was it?”
“Well, I guess that’s the way it works with you. Seeing how you don’t understand emotions.”
“Ahhh stop it at least today.”
“Hmmm. Why? Does 'birthday' mean something special for you?”
“You know the answer to that already, don’t you?! Just stop for the sake of it. We will have a party tonight. I promise.”
“Do you actually think doing things that normal people do, will make you normal? Anyways there is no point in telling you anything! Working with you for all these years has at least taught me that. Forget it. There is a letter for you from the directors. And yes. I will come to the party.”
“I knew you would agree. And what is in that letter?”

“How would I know?” She searched for it in her briefcase.
“Here. Check it yourself. I will go now. And if not for anyone else, at least for yourself, have some rest today.”
“Thanks sweetheart. Don’t worry, I will have my share of respite.”

-Letter-

Hello Madhav,
The board is very happy with your commitment and dedication towards your work. We appreciate the efforts you have put into making the organization grow from a new entrant to a key market player in the zone. We would like to wish you a very rewarding future on this auspicious day in your life. The company MD will be visiting your region today and the company has arranged a party at the Grand Hyatt tonight to which you are coordially invited. Enjoy the day. Also, there might be some important announcements towards the end of the day. Pleasant ones.
Regards,
R.N. Ramaswamy
Chairman
W.L.G. ltd.
--------

"Hmmm! So the oldies have thought of something. What could it be? Considering the positive tone of this letter and specially the last words ‘Pleasant ones’, I believe it could be a promotion or a big contract or maybe an onsite position in some western country. Ahhh whatever! One thing’s for sure. I will have to spend the night in a boring party, tailing behind the MD.. Why do people waste their time in parties for the sake of enjoyment? A peaceful sleep seems to be a much better option."

-Phone Rings!-
“Hi! Madhav here.”
“Hi Madhav” said a very strange but familiar voice.
“Who is this??” asked Madhav feeling a churn in his stomach.
“Don’t remember me? Do you? Monk!” said the voice and disconnected.

"What? Who could that be? How in the world does she know Monk?! Nobody has called me by that name for 4 years now." A sense of anxiety and intrigue assimilated within Madhav. "Who could that be? And why did she call today? More importantly, Monk? How does she know about Monk!"

Mayank Rajput
9 feb 2011
LINK TO NEXT PART

Happy Birthday to my Bestie

Its Second feb today a very important day for someone very very important to me. Its been 2 years since I know her and without a doubt she is one person who has influenced my life a lot. I think I am indebted to her for many things in life.

She has truly been an inspiration for me. More like a guiding light. My all time advisor :P. I think she is my Guardian Angel. Chunnu , you are most creative soul that I know on this planet:P. I don’t know why I suck up woth words when ever I have to say something important (now I will be needing your advise on this matter as well).

I still remember how you counseled me out of that huge depression I was in. how you told me and encouraged me that I should write and can be a good writer. When I think of it half of the things I am doing today and I want to do in my life have been in someway influenced by you.  And I am really grateful for that J

I know there is not much that I can tell you. But one thing that I want to say is Just be yourself J you are an amazing person. A person who change the life of the person around her. No matter what comes in life you can always conquer it \m/. You have a friend here whom you can anytime call, ping, or whatever comes to ur mind :P and order around (if you plan to:P ). You can always count on me :)

Man in words this may not look as good as it came to my mind. But I know you can read my mind :P may this be your best birthday in life. And this year be the beginning a highly rewarding life. May one day we work together :P I cant tell you how happy I will be

Have a super awesome and legendary birthday. I wish this brings a smileJ

You are the light that showed me the way

You are the words that give solace to my troubled mind.

You are my guardian angel through the highs and lows of life

You are my mentor, my guide, my bestest friend.

>:D< Love you chunnu

A very happy Birthday

Irrational Pursuit of Rationality?

When was the last time you really felt happy? The last time you laughed till your stomach hurt? When was it that you felt deep emotions of attachment? Having hard time remembering such time? Well you are not alone. In our endless pursuit for reason and logic we human being are turning into emotionless individuals. The rational man today, even though surrounded by a lot of fellow mates, is the loneliest person. His reasons are his own and not everyone understands them. He knows what is right and what is wrong. He knows what has happened, what is happening and what may happen. But is his thought process is different, different from the masses, at least he thinks so. So where the emotional parts, the feelings , the bonds, the attachments In short the sense of humanity?

These are the most common problems faced by the ‘enlightened’ ones in our society. Whatever He sees, he sees the logic and science behind it. An apple falls from a tree not because it has ripened but because of gravity. He feels cold not because its winter but because our body temperature is higher than the surrounding temperature. He doesn’t deliberately think this way but his brain automatically looks for these aspects: Science and Logic. Is there something wrong with him? Is he so overly indulged into phenomenon that he has lost the essence of life: - emotions.  

Not necessarily so. A rational person is generally immune to rashness or loss of control. In other words a rational person is always in control. He is conscious. Conscious of his emotions, so much conscious that he can not even feel them, he is observing them. Its only when the magnitude of emotions is very high that his tight control and Shield of consciousness is broken. He Cries, he laughs, feels sad and Feels Happy. But he cannot enjoy the small moments of life. He is genuinely happy but he cannot feel it.  Is he compromising a lot by being conscious of his presence? Is he on an Irrational Pursuit of Rationality?